Experts Explain the 8 Best Beginner Sex Positions How to Do Them
An illustrated guide to the 8 best sex positions for beginners, including tips from sex experts on what every beginner should know about sex.
Not sure where to start? We got you.
By Cori Ritchey, C.S.C.S.Published: Nov 18, 2024 11:37 AM EST 
Before we get to the best sex positions for beginners, there are a few key things that every beginner should know about sex.
First: good sex starts well before you actually have sex. You can experiment to find out what you like before ever starting sex by masturbating—it’s the best way to learn the nuances of your body before you do anything with a partner. Don’t be afraid to do it, says Gigi Engle, certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and sex expert at the LGBTQIA+ dating app, Taimi. “It’s important you know your body so you’re able to communicate your likes and dislikes to your partner.”
When you do have sex for the first time—slow it down. There’s no need to rush into anything you’re not ready for, or aren’t sure about. Take the time to get in tune with your and your partner’s bodies to discover what feels good and what doesn’t. Sex is about pleasure the entire time—not just at the climax.
Speaking of the climax: don’t put so much pressure on the all-holy orgasm. Orgasm isn’t the end-all-be-all of sex, regardless of what television sex scenes and porn have showed us. “When we go for a ‘performance’ model of sex, wherein we think we need to accomplish certain things in order to ‘do sex right’—it really isn’t fun for anyone,” Engle says.
Don’t get us wrong—orgasms feel great when they happen. But, they’re not the only criteria for good sex. Follow the pleasure instead—and don’t be so worried about your performance. “When you’re worried about how you’re doing, you’re not able to be present—this is called spectatoring,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., L.M.F.T.. “Be an active participant and focus your attention on your partner’s body.”
And remember, penetration isn’t the whole story. Only 1 in 5 cisgender women can climax from vaginal penetration alone, so you’ll want to lean into other pathways to pleasure, Kerner says. Make out a lot, if that’s hot for you. If your partner has a clitoris, stimulate it. If your partner likes it when you kiss their neck, do it. Explore with more than just penetration.
Finally: don’t forget to use lube, Engle says. “The more lube, the better.”
The 8 Best Sex Positions for Beginners
“Easy” doesn’t inherently mean boring. There are plenty of simple sex positions that will leave both you and your partner satisfied for your first time and beyond. Here, sex and relationship experts share their eight favorite sex positions for beginners.
@alliefolinoIt might get a bad rap for being boring, but it’s one of the easiest positions for beginners to pull off successfully: you’re more or less both lying down. “Missionary is the best go-to sex position for anyone who is new to penetrative sex,” Engle says. Being face-to-face allows for easy communication, which is crucial for ensuring that both parties are enjoying themselves. Plus: it’s intimate!
How to Do It: The bottom (receiving partner) lies on their back. The top (inserting partner) lies on top and enters them.
@alliefolinoSpooning is another comfortable position to try for your first go-round, Kerner says. Since you’re both laying down on your sides, no one has to worry about holding themselves up or balancing; you can just focus on the pleasure.
This position is also incredibly intimate, as it allows you to hold (or be held by) your partner, Engle says. Plus, there’s easy reach-around access for external stimulation.
How to Do It: Both partners lie on their sides, facing the same direction. The inserting partner penetrates the receiving partner from behind.
@alliefolinoIf romance and intimacy are important to you as a beginner, then the lotus is the sex position for you. It gets you up-close-and-personal with your partner, allowing you to make out, kiss each other’s necks, or gaze into each other’s eyes. It’s also easy on the body, since you’re both sitting down.
How to Do It: The inserting partner sits down with their legs crossed. The receiving partner then lowers themselves onto their partner’s lap, beginning penetration. Once you’re both comfy, the receiving partner can wrap their legs behind the penetrating partner. This position isn’t as much about thrusting as it is about rocking and grinding into each other.
@alliefolinoThink of it just like the spooning position, but you’re facing each other instead. It’s a “great position for eye contact and it’s easy on the body, so it makes for good long, comfortable sex,” Kerner says.
How to Do It: Both partners lie on their sides, facing each other. The receiving partner can lift their leg over the inserting partner to begin penetration.
@alliefolinoIf the receiving partner is worried about getting too deep too fast, the cowgirl position provides the person on top “the most control over their pleasure,” Kerner says. It also provides great access for clitoral stimulation.
How to Do It: The penetrating partner lies on their back. The receiving partner straddles them, inserting as they sit down on them. The receiving partner’s knees and shins are pressed to the bed.
The penetrating partner can hold the “rider’s” hands during cowgirl if they feel like they need some extra support. And if the rider needs a break, the penetrating partner can plant their heels and thrust upward into them while they stay still.
@alliefolinoThink missionary, but the person on top props up onto their hands. It might take a bit more shoulder strength, but the heights gives you a little more room to play with the angle of penetration.
How to Do It: The receiving partner lies on their back. The inserting partner lies on top, propped up on their hands, and enters them.
@alliefolinoIf the inserting partner is struggling to find the leverage to move their hips the way they want, it might be helpful for them to stand. You might need a tall bed or a countertop to make this one happen, but once you have that, the rest is easy.
How to Do It: In this missionary variation, the inserting partner is standing next to the bed to penetrate their partner. Note that there are variations of the Stand and Deliver, and the person being penetrated can choose to put either zero, one, or both of their feet atop the insertive partner’s shoulders.
@aliefolinoMissionary is great, but there are ways to spice it up that are just as easy as the original position itself. The over-the-shoulder position helps provide a little more visual stimulation while allowing the same level of access.
How to Do It: The receiving partner lies on their back and places one leg (or two) over the inserting partner’s shoulder(s). Once the receiving partner’s legs are in place, the penetrating partner can enter them and start thrusting.
Read more: 18 Missionary Sex Positions That Put a Fun Spin on the Classic Move
FAQ
What is the name of the sex pose behind?
Doggy style is the traditional sex from behind position. The receiving partner is in front of the giving partner and bends over or gets on all fours.Jul 5, 2023
What is the 90 angle sex pose?
With you on top, raise yourself up so that you’re closer to a 90-degree angle from the woman. The main goal in this position is to have either the shaft of your penis, or your pubic mound, rubbing against her clitoris as you penetrate her.May 7, 2009
What is the six nine sex pose?
The 69 position is a sexual position where two people engage in oral sex. In this position, the woman lies on her back while the man kneels between her legs. He then places his penis at the entrance of her vagina and begins thrusting forward. As he continues to move forward, he should aim to enter her completely.Feb 6, 2017
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